I’ve decided to start using blogspot for my blogs now. If I really don’t like it I’ll switch back to wordpress, but for now…

http://kesharab.blogspot.com

 

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I got a letter back from Tyler the other day. It was about a paragraph long telling me that he was having a blast, but that he was busy and he’d write again soon when he had more time. I don’t even know why it took a paragraph to write that, most of it was just fluff; filler words.
Regardless, it was nice to hear from him.

I didn’t get my essay for my application done quite yet. I actually completely forgot about my Saturday deadline I’d set for myself, was going to finish it today, but I’ve had the weirdest head ache going on since I woke up this…afternoon. Yeah. I know. Anyway, I woke up with a semi-migraine, got it down to a good, ol’ fashion head ache, but now it’s worked its way back up to where it started at. Not the best day.

Yesterday on the other hand was good. I spent most of the day in the art building at Dixie glazing pots and developing prints in the darkroom. While I was glazing, I got complemented on my trimming skills. Definite self-esteem booster, especially since it came from someone who’s won nationals with his pottery. I glazed 4 cups and a bowl, but I still have 2 cups somewhere on the “already bisked” shelf that I couldn’t find anywhere. And I have 4 more cups that I’ll be trimming tomorrow and glazing at some point this week. I have about two and a half more weeks to make 4 more cups with handles, and then I’m done with all of my required assignments.
I spent more time in the darkroom up stairs. A couple of hours. I made a really crappy contact sheet for my portrait shoot roll, and spent most of my time making wallet sized prints of Elder Tyler Robert Wedemeyer that I took of him the day before he left, so as to give them to the family as Christmas gifts, along with the million pots that I have to give away. While looking through the negatives, I really only found this one picture that I absolutely love. He’s such a great person to take pictures of. I miss him.

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Elder Tyler Robert Wedemeyer

 

Song of the day: “Whisper” by A Fine Frenzy
Film of the Day: Seven (1995). I bought it at Target today for 5 bucks. “Good freaking deal”, I thought.

I feel really stupid. I spent a lot of time promoting To Write Love On Her Arms day today, and then I forgot to actually write love on my arm.
But I did put a TWLOHA sticker on my car today, so I think that counts for something, right?

 

Today (or tonight; it’s 1:30 am) I want to blog about how my life has changed in the last week and a half.

First, I discovered Brotherhood 2.0, therefore, Nerdfighters. From there I discovered the 5AG (Five Awesome Girls) channel. Then I found wizard rock, a whole new world of amazing music and people. I feel like this has all impacted my life so drastically in such a short time. And for the better. I feel comfortable surrounding myself with these things, and I’m more happy than I’ve been in a long time.
Wizard rock and the wrock community has all inspired me to personally write more music, WR and non-WR alike. I’m so excited to share myself and my music with the world, and especially within this community.

I’m just so grateful that I found something that makes me so happy.

 

Song of the Day: “Holding On” by Alex Day – http://youtube.com/nerimon
Film of the Day: Rebel Without A Cause (1955). One of my favorite people in one of my favorite movies.

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Telegraph Rd. in Ventura, California, just outside of where The Underground used to be

“See, people they don’t understand/
No, girlfriends, they can’t understand/
Your Grandsons, they won’t understand/
On top of this, I ain’t ever gonna understand”

“Last Night” by The Strokes

I made a video of me singing my untitled college song. Link over to the left, there.

I also got paid today, FINALLY. Apparently my time sheets were sent in late or something. Anyway, all is well now.
Tomorrow morning (or rather in a few hours, considering it’s early morning now) I go to the doctor, and I’m hoping he’s going to let me ditch the crutches. Life without crutches is a simple one. That’s how I see it anyway.

I learned how to play “Past and the Pending” today just about perfectly. I absolutely love The Shins. They remind me of The Underground Days. I capitalize those words to emphasize their utmost importance that they had on my life. Other songs that remind me of The Underground Days:

“The Passenger’s Seat” and “We Looked Like Giants”, both by Death Cab For Cutie
“Hello, I Love You” by The Doors
“Walking With A Ghost” by Tegan and Sara

To name a few.

I could fill a book with the adventures that we had because of that coffee shop. In fact, I will, someday. That’s the plan anyway.
Oh gosh. I’m being overtaken by nostalgia. I should stop now.

I want another tattoo. The ones I want are so expensive though. I just like colors too much, I suppose.

Song of the day: “Last Night” by The Strokes
Film of the Day: Girl, Interrupted (1999). Such a good movie. Seriously though, absolutely fantastic.

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Lauren and Jenna, Buena High School, 2005

I don’t really have a whole ton to say today.

Except I miss the theatre department crew up at Weber.

And I’m about half way done with my application essay for the University of ———-.

HA.
Still not telling. Not until I actually submit the application.

I did tell my mom though, and she said, “I’ll believe that when it happens.”
Gee, thanks mom.

That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything to anyone in the first place, but I needed some of her information for the application, so I had to tell her.

My goal is to finish the essay by Saturday, with all revisions done by next Wednesday. I’m still concerned about how I’m going to fit everything together. Thankfully, a lot of the requirements for the essay have been covered and have worked well together in my writing so far, but there are a few things where I’m not sure where to fit them in.

I wrote an entire song devoted to the downsides of the whole beginning of the year, frustrating college process. At least it was frustrating for me the last two years, but maybe I’m just unlucky.Anyway, my brother told me it was funny, so I suppose I’ll trust his judgment. Funny was my goal.
Maybe I’ll record it in a couple days and stick it up on youtube. Maybe.

I just realized that I could go with Jenna to Wrockstock IV if my mom wont let my brother go. If she can’t go…I’ll go by myself, I guess, which wouldn’t be the end of the world. But I will go.

Song of the day: “The Hero” by Ministry of Magic – my new favorite band, hands down.
Also, “The Past and the Pending” by The Shins. Favorite Shins song ever. It makes me feel extremely nostalgic.
Don’t forget, you can listen to all my Songs of the Day in the link to the left over there.
No Film of the Day today. But I am watching season 3 of Dexter, which is fantastic.

Later days.

“Held to the past too aware of the pending
Chill as the dawn breaks and finds us up for sale.
Enter the fog another low road descending
Away from the cold lust, your house and summertime.”

The Past and the Pending

Is there such a thing?

 

YES.
Too much art is why I dropped art as my major a year and a half ago in the first place. But luckily, too little art brought me back to doing just enough.

Except right now.
I have so many prints due tomorrow in photography it’s ridiculous. I got about half done in the two hours that I was there tonight. I also have four cups that I need to trim in the ceramics studio that are probably already too dry in order to trim them correctly anyway.

And on top of all this, PEOPLE ARE PUTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ALREADY.

wft people? It’s not even mid November. Just give it a few weeks.

 

I’m having college issues. As in “I hate where I’m going now, I don’t want to go back to where I was last year, so where should I go?”

I just need to go somewhere that’s not Utah or California. Lived there, done that. I want new, I want change, I want a fresh start, and I do not want to be living at home. I’ll never be able to find my true self if I stay here.

I wish I was able to go visit all the schools I’m interested in; see the cities they’re in, meet people, etc. Being broke is tough haha.

 

I need some friends that don’t live over 5 hours away. That would be nice.
Everyone I’ve tried being friends with here in St. George is…well, just not people who I see myself hanging out with. I need the Foothill Tech people back, “the nerds” as Tyler liked to call them, even though he was friends with them too.
Speaking of Foothill, I talked to Alex over facebook today. That was nice. I miss him. He’s so far away in Boston.

Everyone is so far away from St. George, it’s seriously the most geographically challenged town. Nothing is actually near us.

 

I feel like I’m complaining, so I’m going to end this now and go research schools.

Later days.

 

Song of the Day: “Blister In the Sun” by Violent Femmes, or any of their other songs. “Gone Daddy Gone” is another of my favorites.
Film of the Day: Taxi Driver (1976). Scorsese at his best (besides maybe Gangs of New York). De Niro at his best, as well. Fun fact: Jodie Foster was actually 12 years old when this was filmed. Also, the name “Travis” was supposedly inspired by the character Mick Travis from the film If…, which is another good movie, though kind of insane. But so is Taxi Driver, so nevermind.

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Musical Hands - currently hanging in Shelbee Lea's bedroom

I spent a good amount of time writing a new song today. I don’t know why I had such writer’s block with it, I remember being able to write several songs in a day back when I was like 13. Granted, they weren’t good, but at least I could do it without having to think so much.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to get a scooter anymore, but instead save up and get some recording equipment. I want my voice to be heard and all that jazz.
Also, I need/want a new guitar.

Speaking of writing, I’m apply to a certain University for the Spring, the deadline being December 15th, and I need to write my essay for it in the next two weeks or so. I have to set guidelines for myself or I’ll never get it done on time. This is going to be the hardest, most intimidating 2-4 pages I ever have to write because I have so much information to fit into the essay, I don’t even know where to start.

I’m not telling anyone which school I’m actually applying to until I actually apply to it. I feel as though I everyone else has certain expectations of me when I tell them my life plans, and then when I change my plans it’s as though they lose faith in me or something. It’s not the greatest feeling. From here on out, I am keeping my life plans to myself until they become more than plans, but legitimate actions.
If I don’t get in for Spring 2010 then I’ll apply for Fall 2010 as well. If that doesn’t work out…then I don’t know. Watkins is still a possibility, as is Laguna. 
Whichever road I take, I would just like to live among people my age again. I love living at home, don’t get me wrong, but…wait, no. I want to move out. Sooner rather than later.
No offence to my family, but I loved living on my own at Weber, and the only reason I’m back home now is to save money on housing, but I’m not in my comfort zone. I need my comfort zone of college students.

I have a new vlog up on youtube; link in the side bar.

Song of the day: “Who Says” by John Mayer
Film of the day: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

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Harry and the Potters

   I was just organizing files on my computer and somehow misplaced my music. So there is nothing in my itunes.

This is a sign that I need to redo my itunes library and get a new ipod, I’m pretty sure.
And if I get a nano I can film parts of my video blogs on it!

Thinking ahead will get me places.

No, but really, I need a new ipod, mine is slowly dying. I must put it out of it’s misery, and soon.

By the way, I’ve been making video blogs the last few days, so check out the youtube link in the sidebar if you want to see those. There are two up so far, plus a music video I made a few years back and a clip of me and my brothers being lame.

I taught Mikie a couple chords on guitar today, I think he enjoyed it. We’ve decided that we’re going to start a band.
Like seriously.
I found a drum set on craigslist for 200 bucks that’s in good shape. and I get paid very soon, so it should all work out.

Other than that, I need to go to bed soon. I didn’t get enough sleep at all the last two nights.

Later days.

Song of the day: “Kids” by MGMT
Film of the Day: Finding Nemo (2003)

I just pulled an all nighter without even meaning to. Time just flew by, that’s really weird.

So the highlight of my day – yesterday, I guess – was finding out that Lauren S. from church is a Nerdfighter. I’ve known her for yearssss, and I had no idea. I should really keep in touch with people. And not just any people, but the ones that I felt genuinely happy around.
I’m starting to figure out what and who really makes me happy. It’s not the people I party with up in Ogden (no offence to them, it’s always been fun), but it’s the one’s I could always be myself around. In a nutshell: the nerds.

Hanging out in the band room all day, and almost every day, before drumline practices back in the day were where I was the most happy. I’m happy playing my guitar in the dark while Jenna falls asleep to it.
I get ecstatic when I play Monopoly for hours with my brothers on a weekend when I could easily be doing something else. I feel most at peace when I close my eyes when I’m throwing something on the ceramics wheel, or closing my eyes while playing something blindly on the piano or on a drum.

My brother and I decided today that we will go to Wrockstock next year. At least I will if he can’t. It’s like there was an entire culture out there that I knew about but had forgotten, and I’m discovering it now, just in time. In time for what though? Life, I guess. True happiness. I’ve felt lost for a while but now I have hope.

I’ve found my path, my open road.

I’ve finally figured something out.

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My new Twitter background

 

konos

I would to go to San Diego just to eat at Konos

Oh dear lord, that last bit of blog was long.

So I’ve decided that when I write in my blogs I write as if I have hundreds of readers reading my blog daily. Maybe if I keep doing that it will happen someday. Or maybe I’m just not interesting. That’d be a bummer.
…if that were the case.

Anyway, I sat in a doctor’s office today waiting for three hours total, missing my nutrition class, mind you, to get told my ankle’s not broken. I could’ve told them that, but apparently my medical opinion doesn’t count.

I think the highlight of my day so far was connecting half of the paper clips in this little basket my mom keeps on her desk, hiding the connected strand underneath the other half in the basket with only one sticking out the top. This way, when she picks up that one paper clip, she’ll get a strand.
I’m such a trickster.

Later days.

Song of the Day: “Mad World” by Gary Jules. Yes, I know it’s originally by TFF (Tears For Fears), but I honestly don’t even like that version.
Film of the day: The Virgin Suicides (1999) starring Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett, directed by Sophia Coppola (keepin’ it in the family). Kind of goes with the song in a way.
These are sort of depressing choices, but SO GOOOOOD.

PS – About the picture: I’m just really hungry right now. And I remember that being a really fun day with Jenna and Tyler, so I picked it for today.